“Be what you want to be, be the girl you supposed to be and forget the world.”
“Every girl’s dream = to eat without getting fat.”
“Love me for who I am – not what you want me to be. Take me or leave me. It’s that simple.”
“Stop checking my Status, Go and love your GF.”
“The real reason women live longer than men because they don’t have to live with women.”
“Every problem comes with a solution, but my GF doesn’t have.”
“Someone asked me: How is your life? I just smiled and replied, She is fine.”
“I am not Spiderman nor Superman. However, I am a superhero for my GF!”
“I am the hot dude with cool attitude.”
“Every problem comes with some solution… If it doesn’t have any solution, it’s a Girl!”
“Dear Mario, I wasted my childhood trying to save your girlfriend. Now, you help me to save mine.”
“Men also have FEELINGS, for example, they can feel HUNGRY.”
“80% of boys have girlfriends… Rest 20% are having a brain.”
“In my house, I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.”
“Dear Good Boys, do not worry having no girlfriend this time. Remember, bad boys will always have the best girlfriend but they will never have the best wife.”
“Better to be strong than pretty and useless.”
“Men hang out in bars for one of two reasons: Either they have no wife to go home to, or they do.”
“Boys are great, every girl should have one.”
“Man of the year.”
“Girls express their feelings via tears. Boys express their feelings via Beers.”
“A naughty thought a day keeps the stress away.”
“A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.”
“Every man is the architect of his own fortune.”
“A thinking man can never be brave.”
“Some men have Hundreds of reasons why they cannot do what they want to when all they need is one reason why they can.”
“Just Because I do not have A Girlfriend, does not mean I am Alone, I Have a Food and Internet.”
“Guys are like stars, there are millions of them, but the only one makes your dreams come true.”
“I’m not lazy, I’m a master of energy conservation.”
“I know the voices in my head aren’t real but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!”
“When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing Angry Birds with you?”
“My Girlfriend says I need to be more affectionate… Now I have 2 Girlfriends!”
“Me and my wife lived happily for 25 years and then we met…”
“Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.”
“A good friend would bail you out of jail but your best friend would be the one sitting next to you saying, damn that was cool.”
“Good friends will share the umbrella. Best friends will steal it and yell: It’s awesome, now run!”
“Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t have one, it’s probably you.”
“Warning!!! I know KARATE and few other oriental words.”
“When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta… No one says I’m fantastic.”
“Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.”
“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.”
“I love my job only when I’m on vacation.”
“My mother always told me: If you do not have anything nice to say, then you better say it sarcastically.”
“I love everyone! There are some people I love to be around, and some people I love to avoid. And then there are others I do love to just punch in the face.”
“They say we learn from our mistakes. So I’m making as many as possible! Soon I will be a genius.”
“Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.”
“Tom N Jerry taught me that life is boring without ENEMIES.”
“I started out with nothing and I still have most of it :)”
“Some people are just so FAKE that if you look properly at the back of their neck, you’ll find a tag saying “MADE IN CHINA”
“I always arrive late at the office but I make it by leaving early.”
“Can you do me a favor? Take a picture of yourself, and send it to me. I am playing cards and seem to be missing the Joker.”